I am very grateful for dreams, I have wonderful dreams. I remember dreams from when I was a child. I remember the dream monster of childhood approaching me as I ran, unable to scream. My feet were heavy and I stumbled and fell, rising I would suddenly remember that I was capable of flight if I got my arms flapping fast enough. So, I’d start flapping my arms faster and faster and I would rise right at the last possible moment escaping the evil monsters fingers and within no time at all I was soaring over our home town, I could feel myself riding the air currents under my outstretched arms and body. I would forget the monster and fly for hours over our town, following the course of the Merrimack River below. I could see the White Mountains to the north but I never flew to them. I was afraid I wouldn’t get back in time for morning.
These dreams were so real to me and I was young enough to not see the border between reality and dreams. I spent several mornings when I was very young flapping my arms in the backyard. I somehow believed that I was too heavy and slow while awake but I was still convinced if I worked at it… My grandfather approached me one day and asked what I was doing and why I was flapping my arms every morning. I explained that at night if I do this in my sleep I can fly but I can’t seem to figure it out during the day. He placed his huge hand on my head and smiled.
“If God allows you to fly in your dreams, say thank you. If he won’t let you fly in the day, he must think you should be doing something else… do you need to go to the library for new books?”
My last flying dream was a long time ago. When I played around with dreams in Jungian Dream Analysis my analyst dismissed these dreams as ordinary childhood dreams. I felt sorry for him, he’d obviously never road the air currents at night. It was anything but never ordinary. I sometimes thing this weight I can not seem to lose is keeping me earthbound.